he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
