D3 body, D1 cock
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
