Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
