I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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