absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
