Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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