Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We named our party play list daddy issues
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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