I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
