SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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