Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
