The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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