she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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