i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
