i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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