im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
