it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
how drunk are you?
Several
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
