Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
two words...techno handjob
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
