It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
