Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
it's like iHOP with fire
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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