Apparently you make a good broom.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
As shirtless as possible
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
