Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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