Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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