He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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