You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
