You're so nebulous sometimes
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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