Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We need a shit load of segways right now
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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