i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
