I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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