I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
