He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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