There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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