What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
