I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
