I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we're making bets on your personal life
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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