I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
