It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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