nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
