Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
