normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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