Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He has the fingertips of a God
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