hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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