it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
FUCK WHALES
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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