I need help removing her.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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