I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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