I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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