Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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