I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
