I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The struggles of a small town man whore
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
