oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
