I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Boobs are out for the taking
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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