I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
