He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
